To children alone, scared frightened in Germany don’t have any parents. They wake in a building looked liked garage. Where is Our ‘mummy and “daddy? the girl said in a quiet voice. I don’t know” the boy said. They got up to see where they are. When they walked outside they saw that they were on a mountain top in a small house they realized that they were sleeping on top of a mountain where no one could here them or see them so they decided to find their parents they walked down the mountain and when the come down from the mountain they saw people with arm bands on they looked like they were Nazi. Wonder what's going to happen now!
When the two saw the people with the arm bands on they decided to ask them a question. But when they thought the Nazi were going to answer their question the Nazis yelled at them and started chasing them the boy and the girl ran back up the mountain and the Nazis pulled their machine guns out and started shooting but kept missing when they got away the Nazis went back.
The boy and the girl were in danger they started to be careful from now on. Than when they walked to find food it didn’t turn out good so they decided to find tools or things that can help get food.So they started looking for tools.Then they heard a gun shoot it hurted the girls ears the boy covered her all over and helled on to her hand waited.
4 comments:
* One thing I love about your narrative story is that you have made sure that your narrative has some wonderful punctuation in it.
* My favourite sentence of your story is when it says that the Nazi pull out there guns and start shooting but they kept missing.
* One thing I think you could work on next time is making sure that in the beginning of your story makes more sense.
One thing I love about your narrative story is it kind of was a wonderful story.
* My favourite sentence of your story is when they were crying for there mum and dad.
* One thing I think you could work on next time is making make sence.
I like your story Alazae, * One thing I love about your narrative story is that it is like the story Once. And I think that is AMAZING!
* My favourite sentence of your story is when the little girl asks where their mum and dad is, I think that is cute.`
* One thing I think you could work on next time is putting fullstops in your sentences.
* One thing I love about your narrative story is The way you discribe the setting
* My favourite sentence of your story is To children alone, scared frightened in Germany don’t have any parents.
* One thing I think you could work on next time is I think you should work on you spelling
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